ENGAGED & INVOLVED - FAMILY WEEKEND 2012

I often have parents tell me that they are interested in what their students are doing at college but don't want to get to close or intrude on their experience.  I can relate with that thought.  When my son went off to college, I was excited to see him spread his wings and experience this new stage in life.  I didn't want to intrude on his fun or make him feel as if I was "spying" on him.  I over compensated!  I almost completely cut off connection with him.  As I look back, I regret not attending parent weekend or other events with my son and his friends. I want to encourage you to respond in a different way than I did.  I urge you to be engaged and involved.

Be engaged by regularly asking your student about their week.  Be specific.  Ask about classes, assignments, and struggles.  Ask about relationships and interactions with staff and faculty.

Be involved.  This can take many forms.  It may include visits to campus, hosting your student and their friends for a weekend, or attending college related functions.  In three short weeks, you will have an excellent opportunity to be involved.  Our second annual Northwestern College Family Weekend is set for February 17th-19th.  Family Weekend is an opportunity for your entire family to experience fun on campus.  You can catch a basketball game, go to the Spring Musical, play broom ball on the lake, or simply enjoy a hike in the snow.  Most of all, you will be able to spend time with your student and their friends while enjoying the great Minnesota outdoors.  All of the details for registering for this event are located at http://nwc.edu/web/events/calendar-of-events  Please consider joining us.  I am sure you will not be disappointed.


Jim

Nurturing Student Leaders

Much has been written about leadership development.  Everyone from Tony Dungy to John Maxwell has shared their insights on how to be a good leader.  The question today is, how do we as parents nurture our children as future leaders?  Tony Dungy, in his book, The Mentor Leader states, "Mentor leaders look beyond themselves, focusing on the people they lead and where they should be going together."  It seems to me that the first priority is to look beyond ourselves and to focus on the people we are charged with leading and growing - and doing this journey with them. 

My dad was a youth pastor during my childhood years.  I clearly remember him demonstrating leadership in the home and at work.  These were many occasions when members of his youth group needed direction and guidance.  I cannot tell you exact details, but I can tell you this; he regularly met with students.  He invested his life in theirs, and showed them, through his actions, how to be Godly leaders.  I also remember him telling me over and over as a youngster, "Jim your attitude and how you respond to situations shows people a lot about you.  If you can't control yourself, you will end up causing yourself and your family a lot of pain."  He constantly worked with me, teaching me how to be a person who responded well to crises. 

• First step - Model Godly Leadership and Appropriate Responses

As time went on, I made many mistakes and took many detours in my life's journey.  However, I never forgot the advice my dad gave.  I know this because it was the same advice I gave my children many years later.

• Second - Encourage Risk-Taking

There is a difference between being dangerous and taking risks.  In police work, I used to tell rookie officers, "Not wearing your ballistic vest is dangerous."  The job involved taking measured risks.  Would you enter a dark warehouse and search alone - would you approach a car with a known felon inside, and on and on.  These were just a few of the risks we took.  Help your student understand the difference between Risk-taking and begin dangerous in their decision making.  Encourage them to be courageous risk-takers.  As young people grow in their ability to experience new challenges and make decisions, they learn to be leaders.

• Third - Mistakes are Okay and Provide Character-Building Experiences

Finally,  allow your student to make mistakes.  Yes, I said it.  Allow them to fail.  Much is written about the success of Wilber and Orville Wright and their first powered flight.  However, not much is said about the many failures the Wright Brothers and others experienced along the way.  Making mistakes and learning from them is where leadership skills are developed.  I would rather know how someone works through adversity than how they are when everything is going well.  Let you student learn by making mistakes and figuring out how to get through those experiences.  That is the thing that helps hone leaders.

As you think about how to nurture your students to be leaders, please remember to pray for them.  There are many lessons they will learn on their journey and your prayers are vital.  Model Godly leadership in your daily life.  Encourage them to take risks, and allow them to fail.

Jim Bender

The Beginning of an Exciting Adventure

I would probably be the first person to say that I wonder what, if anything I have to say that might be of interest to parents of college students.  My wife Rachelle and I have raised 3 children, all of which are now married.  They are all fully devoted followers of Christ, so I suppose that is something.  My job as Director of Alumni & Parent Relations at Northwestern College provides a unique opportunity to engage with students, alumni, parents and friends on a daily basis so I guess that gives me some insight as well.  As I think about it, I guess These experiences are what I bring to the table and hope to share with you in the days, weeks and months to come.


What is the goal of this blog?  Simple; to provide you with resources, encouragement, and some advice as you, a college parent, work through this new adventure in your family's life.  Now one thing I do know.  Unlike a blog page, raising and helping college age children has ZERO templates.  Each and every experience is different.  However, there is one thing that is constant, that is the need to place Jesus Christ as the center of your journey and your life. 

In the book of Jeremiah, we are told, "I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future."  God knows your family condition, your needs and your concerns.  He also knows the plans he has for you, so;

• Seek Him daily by prayer and study of His work, the Bible.
• Seek out wise counsel.
• Spend time as a family talking through situations and discussing options.
• Take some risks.

I am excited for your adventure and wish you the best as you and your student head into this new stage in your lives.

Jim